Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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