you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
