i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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