Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
