Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
