Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
