Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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