She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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