If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
