Sry I called you an 8
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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