It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
