Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
