I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
