May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
