I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
