My cat gives me a boner
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
