haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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