why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
