there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
