he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
