So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
