I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize