trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
