He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
