all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
