Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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