Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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