See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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