normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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