I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
