I need help removing her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
