I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
