she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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