Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You're a waste of cheezeits
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
