Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
