Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
