Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize