Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
