Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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