just tell him i said nine months
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
