now i know why i became what i already was.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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