you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize