Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My ass is underappreciated
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
