i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
