What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
