I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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