Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
