Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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