im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
