I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
