I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
