these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
