yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
