She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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