I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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