you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
