she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize