Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
