My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
