i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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