this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
