It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
