There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
