oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
