everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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