were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
