i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
