Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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