Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize