I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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