I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
