We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
