I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
