Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize