these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
