dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
