we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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