My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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