Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
