Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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